10.19.06

A Friends Funeral

Posted in On Healthy Living at 2:24 pm by Flogsnozzel

I need some help Flog,

I just returned from a friends funeral, another businessman in our town and he looked bad. We are about the same age and it worries me.

Stressed in Sulphur Springs,

 

Hi Stressed,

Sorry about your friend. I knew him too. If it will help, let me tell you a little about him. I’m sure he looked bad, he never cared much for appearance. He valued the thing rather than the appearance of the thing. Our friend went straight ahead, never looking back, as fast as he could go. He subscribed to the life philosphy and I quote “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, throughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — WOW LORD — What a Ride!

He will be missed

  

10.04.06

UFO’s on C-Span

Posted in Political at 3:57 pm by Flogsnozzel

Hi Flog,

I was watching C-Span last night and I swear I saw a UFO. What do you think?

Still Sober,

Good Lord No Sober,

The most compelling evidence for there being intelligent life elsewhere in the universe may be that none of it comes here. And if you were watching closely, there was no sign of intelligent life in the aforementioned Congressional chambers. preening synchophants looking for a camera or microphone certainly, but intelligence, no way.

See you at the next meeting,

Up to Here

Posted in Political at 3:13 pm by Flogsnozzel

I’m tired of voting for someone and finding out later that they represent their own views, which apparently have been bought and paid for and not mine. What can I do? It is becoming increasingly difficult to figure out the truth.I’ve had it up to here.

Hey up to here,

First, read ” Still Troubled in Sulphur Springs” below, second, consider this: In choosing between the lessor of two evils, its important to keep in mind that the result will be evil even if you choose correctly. Remember, if all else fails:

Throw the bums out,

Still Troubled in Sulphur Springs

Posted in Political at 2:52 pm by Flogsnozzel

Thanks Flog,

Your response to Dismayed helped, but I still cannot figure out where we are going wrong. Can you tell me why so many of our elected leaders are such scumbags?

Troubled in Sulphur Springs

Hi Troubled,

Sure, I’ll do my best and keep it simple. A political process which requires that its participants be vicious, unprincipled SOB’s to attain elected office virtually guarantees that they’ll be vicious, unprincipled SOB’s once they occupy it. It is unfortunate, but true, principled, good people either cannot get elected or choose not to get involved. The only solution:

Throw the bums out,

Flying Pigs

Posted in Political at 10:36 am by Flogsnozzel

Flog I’m troubled,

I watch our leaders on TV, listen to them on radio. Nothing changes. Just fast feet and blowing smoke. Will it ever change, will it get better? Is there any hope? Will the Rangers ever become respectable? 

Dismayed in Sulphur Springs,

 

Hi Dismayed, 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no its probably not going to change. We have all heard the expression “When Pigs Fly,” but probably not in the context of our esteemed leaders. Neither the pig, nor our leaders understand the concept of flight, but if you throw a pig off of a tall building, they will make ever effort to learn to fly on the way down. Our leaders never make the effort. As near as I can tell their only emphasis is on running for cover and getting re-elected. As long as their agenda does not match ours, you will probably continue experiencing these Kervorkian moments. Ixnay on the Rangers. The only solution for either problem is:

Vote to throw the bums out,