03.19.07

Is the Customer Always Right?

Posted in Unrecognized Laws, Work Related at 8:21 pm by Flogsnozzel

No question here, just an editorial comment. The customer is usually right, but when the customer wants to abuse or assault the staff, requests a receipt in excess of his or her purchases to fiddle his or her taxes: issues preposterous threats; insists on returning unreturnable merchandise; demands to be hugely compensated for an immaterial or imaginary problem or otherwise behaves like a knucklehead just to see if he or she can get away with it, the customer should be considered dead wrong, and shown the door.

Of course, its not as catchy when you say it that way.

An expanded version of this editorial comment will be posted in the Op-Ed page on shopsulphursprings.com by the end of the week.

Burger Economics 101

Posted in Unrecognized Laws at 7:54 pm by Flogsnozzel

Hey Flog,

Shouldn’t a burger combo that costs over $5.00 …… Come with Freeking Cheese?

Your friend,

Deere


Hi Deere,

You just ran into one of the immutatable laws of economics and a marketing certainty. You cannot really have it your way without paying out the wazzoo. We are talking about Whataburger, right. Have you seen what the owner drives when he stops to check on his minions? He did not get that handsome piece of Detroit iron by giving away freebies. You can pay to have it your way or you can have it cheap. Unfortunately you cannot have them both. By the way, that old axiom “the customer is always right” in this case, is all lip service. Maybe someone will write a restaurant review for this store and comment on the perceived quality of their product and their pricing policy.  

Double Cheese for Everyone

    

12.13.06

Guns, Baseball Bats & Cars

Posted in Political at 11:25 pm by Flogsnozzel

Merry Christmas you old coot,

What’s the deal with banning guns? Are you packing or have you gone liberal on us?

A Jolly old Elf from Yantis

 

Merry Christmas Jolly,

Here is the deal. Guns do not kill people, people making a conscious decision kill people. Anything else is an accident and needs to be treated accordingly. You can kill folks with a baseball bat or your car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to a baseball game. At least not yet anyway, but I’d keep one eye on California & Massachusets. As for the last part, if the guy in front of me at the Whataburger trys to light the heel of his shoe, I’m ready.

Hoorah for Andy Rooney

Posted in Unrecognized Laws at 10:22 pm by Flogsnozzel

Hey Flog,

Do you know what it was that Andy Rooney said on 60 Minutes about averages or probability?

Losing It

Hi Losing, 

Sure, I’ll bet I can get close. He said that when 70% of the people arrested were black, in cities that were predominately black, that it was not racial profiling but the ” Law of Probability”.

10.19.06

A Friends Funeral

Posted in On Healthy Living at 2:24 pm by Flogsnozzel

I need some help Flog,

I just returned from a friends funeral, another businessman in our town and he looked bad. We are about the same age and it worries me.

Stressed in Sulphur Springs,

 

Hi Stressed,

Sorry about your friend. I knew him too. If it will help, let me tell you a little about him. I’m sure he looked bad, he never cared much for appearance. He valued the thing rather than the appearance of the thing. Our friend went straight ahead, never looking back, as fast as he could go. He subscribed to the life philosphy and I quote “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, throughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — WOW LORD — What a Ride!

He will be missed

  

10.04.06

UFO’s on C-Span

Posted in Political at 3:57 pm by Flogsnozzel

Hi Flog,

I was watching C-Span last night and I swear I saw a UFO. What do you think?

Still Sober,

Good Lord No Sober,

The most compelling evidence for there being intelligent life elsewhere in the universe may be that none of it comes here. And if you were watching closely, there was no sign of intelligent life in the aforementioned Congressional chambers. preening synchophants looking for a camera or microphone certainly, but intelligence, no way.

See you at the next meeting,

Up to Here

Posted in Political at 3:13 pm by Flogsnozzel

I’m tired of voting for someone and finding out later that they represent their own views, which apparently have been bought and paid for and not mine. What can I do? It is becoming increasingly difficult to figure out the truth.I’ve had it up to here.

Hey up to here,

First, read ” Still Troubled in Sulphur Springs” below, second, consider this: In choosing between the lessor of two evils, its important to keep in mind that the result will be evil even if you choose correctly. Remember, if all else fails:

Throw the bums out,

Still Troubled in Sulphur Springs

Posted in Political at 2:52 pm by Flogsnozzel

Thanks Flog,

Your response to Dismayed helped, but I still cannot figure out where we are going wrong. Can you tell me why so many of our elected leaders are such scumbags?

Troubled in Sulphur Springs

Hi Troubled,

Sure, I’ll do my best and keep it simple. A political process which requires that its participants be vicious, unprincipled SOB’s to attain elected office virtually guarantees that they’ll be vicious, unprincipled SOB’s once they occupy it. It is unfortunate, but true, principled, good people either cannot get elected or choose not to get involved. The only solution:

Throw the bums out,

Flying Pigs

Posted in Political at 10:36 am by Flogsnozzel

Flog I’m troubled,

I watch our leaders on TV, listen to them on radio. Nothing changes. Just fast feet and blowing smoke. Will it ever change, will it get better? Is there any hope? Will the Rangers ever become respectable? 

Dismayed in Sulphur Springs,

 

Hi Dismayed, 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no its probably not going to change. We have all heard the expression “When Pigs Fly,” but probably not in the context of our esteemed leaders. Neither the pig, nor our leaders understand the concept of flight, but if you throw a pig off of a tall building, they will make ever effort to learn to fly on the way down. Our leaders never make the effort. As near as I can tell their only emphasis is on running for cover and getting re-elected. As long as their agenda does not match ours, you will probably continue experiencing these Kervorkian moments. Ixnay on the Rangers. The only solution for either problem is:

Vote to throw the bums out, 

 

 

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